If you follow the markets closely on a day-to-day basis, you've probably been a little unsettled lately.

Back in May, Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke signaled that the bank may soon start to scale back its aggressive program of buying bonds. Because the Fed's so-called "quantitative easing" has been credited with keeping borrowing costs down and aiding the economic recovery, the markets reacted with fear. Investors retreated from stocks, and they sold off bonds, causing an increase in bond yields. Certain commodities and currencies declined as well, in additional evidence of investor fears.

This week, markets are down reflecting investor fears that Bernanke will snatch away the "punch bowl" come the Fed's policy meeting this mid-September. Many fear this could lead to rising interest rates and are questioning allocations to fixed income.

In the short term, making decisions based on what you think lies ahead makes little sense. After all, the typical individual investor doesn't have the savvy to predict the course of bond yields, commodity prices or global monetary policy.

Six years removed from my divorce has allowed me to gather some perspective on a transition that lasted a lot longer than I wanted it to.

During the unraveling of my marriage and the dividing  up of furniture and bank accounts, I remember feeling like it would never be over.  Like many in the midst of a major life transition, I wanted to move from the end of my marriage to my new normal - whatever that was to become, without spending time in the unsettling, uncomfortable passage stage in between.  Everything was so uncertain including; where I was going to live, how I was going to support my two children and what the future held for us.

Most widows switch advisors when their spouses die-but that has more to do with the advisors than with the widows.

My friend's aunt was recently widowed.  The aunt wanted a new financial advisor because she didn't have a relationship with the one chosen by her late husband.  She didn't know how to find an advisor and this friend recommended someone he thought would be perfect. To be helpful, he went along to the initial meeting for support.

The meeting didn't go well, since this advisor spent time telling this new widow how he invested only in exchange-traded funds (ETFs) and why his portfolio theory was superior to that of his peers. The recently widowed women walked out not because she didn't understand the investments but because she wanted to sit down with someone who would spend time listening to her. This advisor had no idea who she was or what mattered to her.

This was an eye-opening experience for my friend. He assumed that any smart and experienced advisor would know how to help his aunt through her transition.  But this advisor didn't and he is not alone.  In fact, recent research tells us that 70% of widows seek out new financial advisors after their husbands' death.

Suppose you suddenly found out that you only have 24 hours to live.

What are the things you'd regret not getting a chance to do? Which experiences, relationships or opportunities would you miss? Which dreams would you regret not having the chance to achieve?

These might seem like strange questions for a financial advisor to ask—after all, we're supposed to help our clients with money, right? It's true that at Northstar, we take financial planning and investing very seriously. But these sorts of profound "what if" questions can help open a window into our clients' deepest wishes, values and goals. And that can provide the basis for creating more-meaningful financial plans.

I learned this lesson in 2005, when I was trained as a Registered Life Planner by George Kinder, a pioneer who is helping to change the way we think about money and goals. The traditional approach to financial advice is mainly technical—it deals with maximizing investment returns, for example, or paying for specific goals such as retirement.

Women have broken down plenty of barriers over the years, in everything from the professional world to the political arena.

But there's one line that many women are still reluctant to cross: Becoming investors. Women's lack of engagement in investing really came through at Northstar's Successful Investing for Women workshop last month.  Please join us in our next workshop "Money Fears and What to do About Them" on Wednesday, May 15.

Participants shared with us that in many cases, investing had been the province of their husbands. Not surprisingly, these women said they lacked a clear understanding of their financial picture—where all of their investments are, how they are invested, even how much they are worth.

This past weekend, The New York Times published an article, "Challenging Management (but Not the Market)." In addition to comparing proxy voting records (a subject we won't address here), it revisits a familiar debate. Which should a passive investor prefer: Dimensional Fund Advisors evidence-based funds or Vanguard index-based funds?

The "Dimensional vs. Vanguard" Debate

In comparing the two fund managers, the author concludes that Vanguard’s low-cost funds are even lower-cost than Dimensional’s. He also states: “Investors in Vanguard stock mutual funds have had higher actual returns than investors in Dimensional funds. On an asset-weighted basis in the 10 years through Jan. 31, the return received by Vanguard investors was 6.614 percent, annualized, compared with 5.05 percent for Dimensional funds, Morningstar calculates.”

Retirement can be a strange thing. Many of us eagerly look forward to it, expecting that it will be a time of freedom and new possibilities. But many recently retired women find themselves yearning, on some level, for what they've left behind.

Now, they may not want all their old responsibilities back, mind you. But in stepping away from a career, many women find that they've lost more than a job.They've lost a community of colleagues. They've left the structure of the workday, work week, work year. More broadly, they've left behind an identity—the professional role that they had filled for years. And they typically have left behind an income, which cannot help but trigger conscious or unconscious financial anxiety.

Our Reinvention workshop proved to be lively with many stories and an exploration into our own true self – the attributes that make us who we are in this world.  We discussed the difference between who you want to be versus what you want to be in creating your new story.  We learned that the process of reinvention can be lengthy, especially if you have endured a sudden transition such as death or divorce, and it's important to give yourself compassion and time. Stabilizing your personal and financial currency and making sure that you are safe and secure is the first step in the reinvention process.  It is hard to imagine changing your life when your foundation is shaky.  Building a strong foundation includes nurturing yourself, finding your resilience, understanding your financial situation and creating a support system.  We provided worksheets for use in creating a plan at home that are available upon request.

SAVE THE DATE –– Wiser Women Workshop on Wednesday, April 3 from 6pm to 8pm

Greetings!

With 2013 now underway, many of us have made New Year's resolutions that we're unlikely to keep. Whether we intend to exercise more, eat healthier, or spend more time reading, chances are we'll have given up by the end of January.

According to one study, 88% of all resolutions end in failure. It seems that it's too hard for us to modify our behaviors quickly. We're better off changing our ways over time, as part of a defined process. That's where Northstar comes in.

Occasionally, each of us has a day when we feel "off," when our capable, confident, focused and decisive selves seem to go AWOL.

Usually we can chalk these episodes up to something specific—a cold, a bad night of sleep or some other temporary issue. But what about when that off day turns into an off week? Or an off month? Or even an off year? We may start to wonder—with understandable anxiety—what ever happened to the person we used to be.